


eros

by thatfangirlingfreak



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: Angst, Bottom Sebastian, CEO!Chris, Established Relationship, M/M, Top Chris, all chris wants to do is take care of seb, bc I love work related angst for some reason, blowjobs n handjobs too, lack of communication bc dumb boys, seb's a struggling actor lol, some domestic bits, these are stupid tags I'm sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 11:49:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14933708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatfangirlingfreak/pseuds/thatfangirlingfreak
Summary: Sebastian is everything Chris desires, but he's struggling to give him a reason to stay.And all Sebastian wants is for Chris to let him in.





	eros

**Author's Note:**

> evanstan has truly taken over my life so obviously it led to this
> 
> obviously I don't know Chris or Seb irl, so if anything doesn't sound like them...I don't know them okay like I'm sorry
> 
> title taken from the song 'eros' by young the giant, which sort of inspired parts of this lil oneshot

The first thing Sebastian notices is the phone call.

It's seven on a Sunday morning, and he's curled up on the right side of their bed. He's a little disoriented, especially with the bright light peeking through the blinds and shining on the white comforter he stole during sleep, but he still feels it.

He flips on his side and feels the lingering warmth Chris has left behind, and knows he probably didn't get up to make breakfast. Not this early.

Sebastian groans softly, and hoists his feet away from comfort and onto the cold wooden floor. There'd better be a good explanation for this.

He shuffles into the kitchen, trying to adjust his messy hair a little, and spots Chris out on the terrace.

There's a phone in his hand, and it's clear that he's unhappy with something–broad shoulders tense, face pinched, jaw clenched. He begins to pace back and forth.

Sebastian runs through possible ‘what would make my boyfriend upset’ scenarios in his mind while he briefly turns away from watching him and prepares some waffles.

Honestly, he has no idea what could be making Chris so agitated. He'd been really happy ever since Sebastian had moved in with him just a couple months ago. Maybe it's a very, very rare bout of family drama? It couldn't have to do with him, right?

The sliding door opens and Chris steps inside. He doesn't say anything, doesn't even sigh.

“Everything okay, babe?” Sebastian asks, putting a fluffy waffle on a plate. What if he was talking to an ex? Or he found out he has cancer? What about–

“Yeah, just…dumb work stuff,” Chris mutters, and takes the plate from him. He presses a kiss to Sebastian's temple, unaware of the dramatic thoughts running through his boyfriend’s head.

And then it all feels really overwhelming, so Sebastian just blurts, “You wouldn't cheat on me, right?” Well, it's all out there now.

“What? No! God, never,” Chris says, sounding exasperated. “Where'd you even get that idea?”

It sounds like an honest answer, and he trusts him. “Sorry, I assume the worst a lot. And you wouldn't tell me what your call was about, and…”

“Look, Seb. I'm perfectly fine, I can handle my shit. You don't need to worry about it, okay?”

He really doesn't feel like arguing right now, so Sebastian just acquiesces. “Okay, I’m sorry. Do you like the waffles? I know they’re your favorite.”

“They're absolutely incredible, just like you,” Chris grins, wrapping his arms around him from behind and kissing his neck.

Sebastian giggles and leans into the touch, but his concern still lingers. Eventually he will find a way to draw the truth out of Chris, but for now, he lets himself bask in early morning bliss.

—

Sebastian's digging through their cabinets trying to find a really specific box of pasta. It's his favorite kind, and usually it's right next to their cans of soup.

He's trying not to make noise, he really is, but eventually he gets so frustrated from his unsuccessful search that he just shoves bags of croutons and chips left and right without a second thought. The crinkling sound only drives him.

Chris thinks otherwise. “Seb, cool it with the bags,” He scolds, typing something rapidly.

“Sorry,” He says curtly. “I can't find that great fettuccine I like. Did you get some more the other day on your grocery run?”

“Oh shit,” Chris winces. So that's a no. “I completely forgot about that, I'm sorry.”

 _I forgot about you_ , Sebastian translates in his mind. “No, it's…’s alright. I'll make something else for dinner, then.” Do not get upset over pasta.

“Are you sure?”

Sebastian looks over and sees that Chris has resumed typing on his work computer, and rolls his eyes at the sight. “Yeah. It's whatever.” Always less important than the company.

He makes a dish he really likes but Chris sort of doesn't like as much, and the little revenge tastes delicious.

Sebastian sits and reads a novel before bed, Chris flipping through channels next to him. Then, the TV shuts off.

“Are you mad at me for forgetting?” Chris asks in a soft voice, turning to look at him.

Sebastian keeps reading. “A little.” He feels like a petty kid, mad at his mom for not buying him the action figure he really wanted.

Chris leans over and kisses his shoulder. “I'm sorry, Sebby. I'm gonna buy you a bunch of boxes next time, yeah?”

He marks his place and sets the book aside. “Okay,” He smiles and moves so he can wrap his arms around Chris’s middle. “I think I was just upset because my agent yelled at me earlier today.”

Chris frowns. “What happened?”

So Sebastian sighs and tells him all about his recent rejections and not getting enough auditions and all his acting woes. It's therapeutic to have it all in the open. He hopes that Chris will exchange his inner turmoil too, but he doesn't. Just comforts him.

He kisses Sebastian, shuts off his bedside lamp for him, and murmurs, “Good night.”

—

The next week, on a late Friday night, he has a realization.

Sebastian's annoying Chris while they get ready for bed–one of his favorite pastimes. This time he’s decided to do it by singing random bits of Disney songs off key and in dumb voices.

“Stop,” Chris whines, chuckling slightly when Sebastian attempts to hit a high note that he absolutely does not have the range for. He elbows him in the side as he finishes flossing, then leans in towards the mirror.

It's when he pulls out a grey hair and grimaces at it that it hits Sebastian.

“Do you…sometimes wish I was more mature?” He asks from his spot atop the vanity, stilling his dangling feet so he doesn't look even more childish. Not that it could get much worse.

Chris frowns at him and places a hand on one of his hips. “Of course not. I love you because we can both be immature idiots together. Why, what's wrong, baby?”

Sebastian shrugs, running his fingertips over Chris’s knuckles. “I thought that maybe that's why you've been a little distant lately, is all. Maybe you needed me to, I don't know, just be better. Be what you really need.”

“You’re all I really need. You, just like this,” He says, intertwining their hands. “Whoever you want to be is what I want you to be.”

Sebastian smiles at that. “You're sweet.”

Chris hums pleasantly and kisses him softly. “Didn't I tell you to stop worrying?” He whispers against his lips.

“I always worry about you, Evans. That's my job.”

“If I tell you it has nothing to do with you, will you stop?”

Sebastian considers it for a moment, then kisses him again. “Okay, I’ll stop. I promise.”

They leave the bathroom together and climb into bed. Sebastian rests his head on Chris’s chest and can hear his heart beating if he turns just the right way.

Just as he’s being lulled to sleep, he makes out Chris whispering, “I love you, Sebastian,” right before he drifts off.

—

A few nights later they have an argument over dishes and Sebastian yells about how he's always the one who has to do them. Chris comes at him with the ‘I'm too busy to clean’ argument.

“I’m not your fucking maid, Evans!”

“Oh yeah? Might as well be, you'd make more money doing that!”

Sebastian gets so pissed off he can't say anything back and nearly smashes a plate. He finishes loading the dishwasher alone while Chris tries to get his attention and fix the mess he made.

He accepts his apology later that night, but only because he doesn't feel up to proper communicating and talking about his feelings. Chris had more important things to deal with anyway.

And then he comes home from a meeting and Chris is there with a bottle of wine open and his favorite pasta dish waiting for him and Sebastian can't stop smiling.

They make love for the first time in a while that night.

—

The next day Chris comes home from work and Sebastian immediately knows he's in a bad mood because the door gets slammed shut behind him and he doesn't greet Dodger like he always does.

“Chris? You alright?” Sebastian asks cautiously. He seems even more frustrated than usual. Not that being CEO of a major company was easy.

“Just peachy,” He grumbles, going over to the sofa and setting up his work laptop on the coffee table. So a very bad mood.

“Did something happen at work?”

“No.”

“…Chri–”

“ _Sebastian_.” The cold tone nearly makes him shiver. Maybe, just this once, it's best to leave his boyfriend alone.

About fifteen minutes later, though, he really can't stand the angry tension and Sebastian starts devising ways to dissolve it. If Chris wouldn't respond to words, maybe he'd respond to actions.

So he slinks over until he's behind the couch, and presses his hands against Chris, dragging them down his chest and humming in his ear.

“Seb…” He says, voice edging on a warning. “I gotta work.”

“Maybe that's your problem, babe, always working.” He kisses along his jaw before whispering in his ear, “You should relax…”

Then, Chris is pulling his hands away and standing up to face him. “Can you please just let me focus on this?”

Sebastian bristles at his tone. “You worked for two extra hours today, I think it's okay to step back for a minute with me, Chris.”

He crosses his arms and shakes his head. Sebastian feels like a kid getting reprimanded by his dad. “You’re really not getting this?”

“What the hell am I not getting? All I'm trying to do is keep you sane.”

“I'm the one bringing all the bread to the table, Seb! I have to provide for us, and all you're doing is trying to make me lose it all by distracting me,” Chris shouts with a hard glare.

“Oh, so because I haven't gotten an audition in a while you're the breadwinner all of a sudden?”

“My work is consistent, and you know it. I can't lose this job just because you're fucking lonely, Sebastian, I'm trying to do this for us. So you can–”

“Keep chasing after my stupid dreams that I’ll never make a dime off of?”

Chris sighs in frustration. “That's not what I’m saying. Just…without my salary and constant work, we'd never be able to survive. And sometimes I have to sacrifice our time, but isn't that for the greater good?”

Sebastian presses his lips together, ignoring the fact that they still taste like the man in front of him. He can feel his hands shaking in anger and wonders if Chris can see how much that just fucking hurt.

“Fine,” He says, voice barely above a whisper. “I'm sorry I’m not bringing home as much money as you are, and I’m sorry that spending time with me is such a fucking burden to you now.”

“No, Sebastian…that came out wrong, I–” But Chris’s words are cut off after he slams their bedroom door shut.

He lies on Chris’s side of the bed and cries.

—

They've barely spoken to one another this week, mostly because Chris has been spending a lot of time in his office at work. Sebastian is glad to have the time to himself, even if the occasional paranoid thought comes into his head about Chris leaving him for his assistant or secretary or something.

However, today he has something to say to the older man.

“Mackie is throwing a house party on Saturday. We're going.”

“Ah, so he and Winston finally found a place?” Chris asks, opening a soda. “Good for them.”

“Yeah, I think they're looking for a third roommate though. To pay for more shit, y’know?” Sebastian explains.

He hears Chris chuckle to himself in the kitchen. He really wishes he could see him from the couch right now. He's been aching to see him smile, as pathetic as that sounds. “Sounds about right for those two, yeah.”

“Yeah,” Sebastian replies, standing up. “Well, just letting you know in advance so you can clear your schedule, or whatever.”

There's a long pause where neither of them says a word, and they stand there, just gazing at each other.

“I’m…gonna shower and go to bed,” Sebastian says, walking towards their room. “Don't stay up too late.”

“Okay,” Chris says. “Um, hey.”

He stops in his tracks and turns to look at him with a questioning look.

“I just…I love you, Seb.”

The ache spreads through all of his veins. “I love you too, Chris.”

He feels a light kiss being pressed to his forehead later that night, and wishes this was all just over.

—

“Sebastian Stan! Looking just as sexy as ever,” Anthony remarks upon greeting them at the door. “And my man Evans, looking less so.”

“Thanks for such high praises,” Chris scoffs, amusement laced in his tone. He enters the house behind Sebastian, a hand pressed into his lower back. “This place looks incredible, Mackie.”

Sebastian does his best not to lean into the touch, like he normally would. “Are you sure this place is yours?”

“Honestly, Winston was the one who found this place. He has better taste than you ever did, that's for sure.”

“Hey, we had a nice, humble apartment!” Sebastian protests.

Chris snorts. “When I met you two, you guys were practically living in a cardboard box.” At this, Sebastian is reminded of their argument and moves away from him a little bit more. Of course he thought their place was that shitty.

“Ah, the good ol’ days. Back before Prince Charming here stole my best roommate,” Anthony muses.

“You only kept me around because I did the dishes and laundry for you,” Sebastian gripes.

“Maybe so. I'm sure Chris can agree, you have a way with household chores, my man.”

Chris smirks. “He really has a gift. Especially when he wears the maid outfit.”

Anthony laughs but Sebastian can feel himself ignite instantly. How ignorant is he? Does he not remember every fucking argument they've had in the past month?

Maybe he really doesn't give a shit about Sebastian's feelings anymore. It's like he wasn't even there.

“I'm going to get a drink,” He says, already sick of being near Chris.

Sebastian finds Scarlett behind the bar area, mixing and serving drinks to all the guests. They have a pleasant conversation as she makes him a drink, maybe two, and it helps soothe his anger.

And then he meets Winston, who is hilarious and incredible, and suddenly shots are in front of them and how is he supposed to say no?

Eventually Anthony joins them too, and they end up downing a lot of shit he suddenly can't remember.

Needless to say, he's pretty drunk when he finds Chris again.

Sebastian had heard a song he really liked, so he moved into the middle of the room, where a group of people were dancing.

And just as he starts getting into a groove, he spots him in a big plushy chair talking to some dude nearby. A dude who is way hotter than Sebastian and is laughing way too hard at whatever Chris is saying.

So he interrupts their conversation by going over to Chris and begging him to dance with him.

“Chrissss, please come dance with me,” He whines.

“I'm way too sober for that, Seb,” Chris replies and he can hear the hot guy laugh at that too.

“I'm not dancing alone, babe. Let’s goooo,” He slurs, taking his hand and tugging on it.

He hears his boyfriend sigh. “Fine, I guess. Not for long though.”

“Yay!” Sebastian cheers when Chris stands and enters the sea of people with him. The song playing vibrates throughout his whole being and Sebastian feels fucking amazing right now.

“Y’know, ‘m still mad at you,” He says in Chris’s ear. “Hurts.”

Chris glances at other people around the room instead of looking at him. “Yeah…I know, Seb.”

“Should just say sorry,” Sebastian shrugs. “‘Cause I wanna be with you. Even if you don't.”

His words are met with a frown and a pair of sad, pained blue eyes. “Of course I want…you're really drunk, Sebastian. Maybe we should go.”

“No, no,” He protests and presses his face into Chris’s shoulder. “Stay.”

Chris lets out a heavy exhale, and wraps his arms around his boyfriend even if it stings a lot. “Okay,” He says. He can't say no to him, especially when he says things like that.

And so they dance for a couple of songs, until this one really bass heavy song comes on that Chris has never heard before, but Sebastian definitely has because he's got a wide grin on and his hips start moving instantly.

So before Chris can register what's happening, Sebastian's kissing him hard and rolling his hips against him, both hands running through his hair.

Chris nearly moans into his mouth because fuck, has he missed his boy like this, but he quickly remembers how drunk Seb is.

He breaks their kiss and says, “Sebastian, you gotta stop.”

“Don't wanna,” He smirks, licking his lips. God, he makes this hard in more ways than one.

“Me neither, but we need to. We should get home, for real.”

Chris places a hand on his back and leads him towards the door, waving at the other Chris he met as they exit. Anthony and Winston spot them leaving and say goodbye at the door, telling him to take good care of Sebastian.

“I will,” Chris laughs, waving one last time before leading Sebastian out of their home. Once the door shuts behind them, he briefly wonders if Sebastian told them about their fight.

But then Sebastian is throwing up and he goes into full caretaker mode.

—

“Mornin’ Sleeping Beauty,” Chris says when he sees Sebastian beginning to stir. “Feel okay?”

“Ugh, god no. I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck or some shit.” He takes the aspirin Chris is holding out and the water. “Thanks. Did I embarrass myself a bunch last night?”

Chris hesitates. “How much do you remember?”

Sebastian groans softly. “Uh, I remember getting mad at you for something you said. That's why I drank so much. There was a guy that…” Sebastian's cheeks go red. “Uh, nope, don't remember. Don't wanna know.”

“Wait, what guy? Did something happen? Do I have to kill a man?’

“No, Chris, shut up. I…remembered that guy that was flirting with you. Did I say anything to him?”

“A guy was flirting with me? That's news to me.”

Sebastian shoots him an incredulous look. “You're hot, I'm not the only one who's noticed. And it was that guy…long blonde hair, really hot, muscular?”

“Oh, you must mean this other dude named Chris I met. He was definitely straight, I don't think you have to worry. I think he mentioned something about having kids.”

“Literally have you seen yourself, I think anyone would go gay for you,” Sebastian says, rolling his eyes.

Chris laughs. “Aw, someone's jealous.”

Both of them wish this moment could last–no fighting, no weird tension.

“Do you…remember dancing?” Chris asks.

“Only a little bit, but from your tone I feel like I definitely fucked something up, oh god.”

“It wasn't bad, but you may have kissed me a little. Maybe grinding was involved.”

Sebastian buries his face in his hands. “Oh no.”

“I stopped you before you got too out of hand, don't worry,” Chris pats his shoulder. “It happens to the best of us.”

“I'm sorry you had to put up with that, Jesus,” Sebastian grimaces. “Remind me to never drink with Mackie and Winston again.”

Chris laughs. He decides not to mention the whole thing about still wanting to be with Sebastian. Who knows when there would be a light moment like this between them again.

—

Chris is exhausted. He rubs one of his sore shoulder muscles while he waits in traffic, and the pressure seems to help. Lately it feels like he's carrying the actual world on his back.

And between nearly losing his job to this ongoing battle with Sebastian, that could almost be the truth.

So when he comes home, all he really wants is to fall asleep to a cooking show and maybe have a drink beforehand. But, to his surprise, he's met with Sebastian right there in front of him, kissing him hard against the door.

“I'm still really pissed at you,” Sebastian breathes, kissing down his neck. “But I really need this.”

“Sebastian,” He moans as he sucks at his skin. “I'm really tired, I don't think–”

“You won't have to do any work, just c’mon.”

So Chris lets himself be led to their room and pushed onto the bed. Sebastian straddles him, and slips his tongue into his mouth. His ass starts rolling back against him, and god, he's fucking hard.

Sebastian begins to undo his belt, shoving his zipper down and trying to pull off his pants. “Help me, I wanna have your dick in my mouth.”

Damn. Chris takes off his shirt and tosses his pants somewhere across the room. Sebastian pulls down his briefs and wraps a hand around his aching cock.

He looks up at him, eyes all innocent, and then those pink lips meet his tip.

“Basha…” Chris groans softly, feeling his tongue press against him as he starts to really take his length in. Sebastian whines a little around him at the nickname, one he only ever really uses when they're like this.

He's sucking him hard, and the hot, tight pressure around his cock is getting to him. He taps the side of Seb’s jaw–code–and feels his mouth loosen a little around him. Chris then bucks his hips and fucks into his mouth, grasping at Sebastian's hair.

“Fuck,” He moans. And he means to pull out, he really does, but he can't tear himself away and comes down the back of Sebastian's throat, feeling him swallow it down.

Sebastian pulls back and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, and Chris feels guilty. “I'm sorry, Seb, I didn't think–”

“It's fine,” He claims. “No need to apologize.”

“Let me help out with yours.”

Sebastian shakes his head. “No, that's okay. I'll do it myself.”

“Seb, let me take care of you.”

Sebastian gives in and undresses, letting Chris wrap a hand around his length. He fucks into his fist fast and rough, and it's not long before he finishes onto his chest.

“Thanks,” He is all he says after he stops panting, handing Chris a tissue.

Sebastian climbs out of bed and he can hear the water turn on. Chris thinks about joining him for a second, before remembering that they weren't in a very good place to do that.

His exhaustion catches up to him, and he shuts his eyes. Just before he drifts to sleep, he can hear faint sounds of crying. Then the shower cuts off, and he doesn't hear anything else.

When he wakes up at five, he can't feel Sebastian next to him. Chris walks into the living room and finds him asleep on the couch, a Gordon Ramsay show left playing quietly on the TV.

Chris covers him with the fuzzy grey blanket he loves, and leaves for work with a vague, empty feeling in his chest.

—

“I'm thinking about staying with Winston and Mackie for a while,” Sebastian says at dinner one evening.

Chris can almost hear his own heart breaking. “Oh.”

“They…they still haven't found another roommate so. They can make room for me.”

Chris doesn't say anything to that.

“Chris?”

“I don't know what to say.”

“You don't have to say anything,” Sebastian shrugs. “I don't exactly need your approval or something.”

Sebastian expects for Chris to start fighting him over that statement, but it seems like he's been rendered speechless. They finish their meals in complete silence.

After they wash the dishes, Chris grabs Sebastian's hand.

“Please, just…” Chris is tearing up. “Stay.”

Sebastian lets go. “I don't think I can anymore, Chris.”

They brush their teeth next to one another that night, and Sebastian can't stop looking at him in the mirror. He looks drained and it hurts. Sebastian can't believe how much it hurts.

“Look, I, um…I think you should know that nothing's confirmed. I'm not gone yet.”

“If you really want to leave, I don't want to hold you back from that,” Chris says.

Sebastian furrows his eyebrows. “Do you really think I _want_ to leave?”

Chris sighs. “I don't know. I'm clearly fucking everything up, so why not, huh?” He runs a hand through his hair. “Even if I'm still in love with you, and no matter how much I want you to be here with me, I'm not gonna stand in your way.”

Sebastian doesn't say anything, and leaves Chris in the bathroom alone. He sighs and splashes water on his face, wondering why he let himself fuck up the best thing in his life.

Chris is surprised to wake up to find Sebastian still there.

He may be asleep on the sofa again, but there.

—

While Chris is out working, Sebastian decides to visit Mackie to rant about him, like he did sometimes with their dumb arguments. Except this one was pretty big.

He's surprised when Scarlett answers the door. “Hey, Stan! Long time, no see.”

“Good to see you too,” Sebastian gives her a quick hug. “Is Anthony around?”

“Yeah, come on in, we’re all out back.”

They sit on the patio and make pleasant conversation until Winston asks him how Chris is doing and everything from last night explodes. So he gets everyone up to speed on their situation, starting from the very beginning.

“…And I just don't understand why he’ll tell me he still loves me, yet does nothing to fix our problems. If he just tried to open up to me and help me understand, I would forgive him in a heartbeat. But the fact that he just keeps shutting me out is getting on my nerves.”

Scarlett seems to be in very deep thought. “So, wait…Chris didn't tell you about how he almost got fired?”

“Oh shit,” Mackie exclaims. “Evans did what?!”

“I'm sorry, what the fuck?” Sebastian asks. “What are you talking about?”

Scarlett sighs. “Like a couple months ago or something, Chris nearly got fired by his company’s board because money starting going down the drain a little. He'd gotten pretty lax at work too, not really focusing and cracking down on his employees to do work.”

How could Chris not tell him?

“But he's also a good CEO, so someone from the board told him he needed to step up his game or else he's gonna get the axe. And I guess he did just that,” Scarlett finishes.

“I…I never knew,” Sebastian murmurs in shock.

“Perks of being one of his oldest friends,” She says. “I have all the dirt.”

“Why didn't he just say something?”

Scarlett stares at him. “I honestly have no idea, or else I'd tell you. But look, Sebastian, he loves you more than anything. He talks about you like you're his whole world. You can choose to leave him or whatever, but please just…don't twist the knife too much, yeah?”

Sebastian nods, and the conversation moves to a less serious topic. But he can't stop thinking about everything Scarlett's just revealed to him.

So, in true Sebastian fashion, he gets so overwhelmed by it that he can't help but blurt it out the second Chris walks in the door.

“Why didn't you tell you almost lost your job?”

Chris freezes. “Dammit, how did Scarlett tell you?”

“Not important,” Sebastian says. “You should've told me.”

Chris hangs his jacket by the door and goes over to sit by him. “I know, but I couldn't.”

“Why the fuck would you not be able to tell me?”

“Because they almost decided to transfer me,” Chris confesses. “To Boston.”

Sebastian gapes at him. “Chris…”

“And I didn't want you to know about it because I knew what you’d say. You would've told me to take it because I would be closer to my family. And you'd probably end it with me because you would hate to hinder me from success or some bullshit like that. And I know what you'd think too,” Chris says. “You'd think you were less important than my work. You always have. Because I know you, Seb.”

All of this is very true. “So, what? You just gave it up?”

“I told them I just couldn't take the Boston job. Really, I couldn't risk losing you. And I thought if I told you…you'd be upset with me for making a life decision because of you.”

“But…then why…?”

“Guess I should get all my cards on the table, then,” Chris sighs. “I found out I might get fired and I panicked, which is why I did and said stupid shit like calling you a maid and mocking your career. I never should've said any of that, but I was mad at myself and I turned on you.”

Chris scrubs a hand down his face. “Of all people, I never should have made you feel like that. I have always been proud of you, Sebastian, and everything you've done. But I didn't want to admit that I was the one who was becoming a failure, or that…”

He turns to look Sebastian directly in the eye. “Or that you were the reason I started to stop focusing on my job, because I fell so fast for you that I got caught up in it. And that was on me, not you, but I still took it out on you. And I'll never forgive myself for that.”

“God, I wish I had known,” Sebastian frowns.

“You couldn't have known. This was entirely my own doing,” Chris smiles sadly. “I just didn't know how to balance everything. I didn't want to lose you or the career I worked so hard for, and I didn't want to talk about it because I thought you'd break up with me. You would've thought you were the problem, so you'd take yourself out of the equation altogether.”

“Maybe I wouldn't though. If you’d just been straight with me, we could have worked it out together.”

“Yeah, I just thought…I thought I could handle it myself. Prove that I did deserve to be a leader and a great CEO. Guess I failed in the boyfriend department, though.”

Sebastian takes his hand. “It was pretty shitty of you.”

“I am so sorry, Seb. I understand if you can't forgive me.” Chris brushes his thumb over his knuckles.

“It…might take a minute. But I'm not going anywhere.” Sebastian squeezes his hand tightly.

Later that night, he gets a text.

scarlett: _hey, I just want you to know that I wasn't trying to justify chris’s actions by pulling the love card or anything_

seb: _thanks for saying that_

seb: _did you know he gave up the boston job?_

scarlett: _yes but I thought it was best to let him tell you that_

seb: _…is it wrong to feel kind of flattered he gave it up for me??_

scarlett: _I mean it's a pretty big deal, I think you'd be in the wrong if you weren't flattered by it_

Sebastian snorts at that, and looks over from the bathroom to see Chris in their bed, remote in hand like always. He smiles at the sight.

And he crawls back into his side of the bed and falls asleep cradled in Chris’s arms.

—

Things start to feel a little easier between them, but Sebastian's still finding it hard to forgive him entirely. Mostly because some stuff Chris said was actually…real.

So he just rips off the bandaid one night in bed, and asks, “Do you think I should look for a real job?”

Chris looks at him, concern written all over his face. “You have a real job.”

Sebastian stares at him. “Do you really believe that?”

“Yes,” Chris replies instantly. “Because going after your dreams is hard work, especially in an industry where everything about you is judged. Your job is hard as shit, and I think you’re brave.”

“I barely have a career, Chris. I'm not getting any parts.”

“Maybe not now, but you will,” He says. “You're just starting out, be gentle with yourself. And don't look for any other jobs. Focus on acting because that's what you really want, nothing else.”

“But I’m hardly making anything, and you were right, I can't exactly pull my weight around here,” Sebastian admits in a small voice.

“Sebastian,” Chris says sternly. “This is about your passion, not money. You are so much more than a paycheck to me, and I don't want you here to just pay the rent. I've got money to cover us, okay? When you're able to contribute to it, I’ll let you pay if you want. But it's really not important. What's important to me is that you are truly happy and do what you want to do.”

“Okay,” Sebastian says, small smile on his face. “Thank you.”

Chris returns the smile and goes quiet before asking, “Are you happy?”

“With acting? Yes. You're right, it's all I’ve ever wanted. I shouldn't have to settle.”

“Good. Are you…happy here with me? Despite, well, my mistake of shutting you out,” Chris asks, biting his lip nervously.

“Yeah, I’m so happy,” Sebastian smiles. “I can't imagine myself anywhere else with anyone else.”

“Good, because you're it for me, Seb,” Chris says seriously.

Sebastian can't help but kiss him. “You're it for me, too. And hey, I forgive you. For everything.”

Chris pulls back, surprised. “Are you sure? You don't have to just say that, y’know.”

“I know,” Sebastian says. “And I know you did everything just because you wanted to keep me and the job you love. I understand that. But next time, can you please just talk to me about what you’re going through? I can help you handle it, I swear.”

Chris kisses him. “I promise. And there will never be a next time.”

—

Chris starts to take weekends off, which makes Sebastian feel overjoyed.

This gives them a chance to really spend time together, now. They even start going on dates like they used to.

Today, they keep it casual because they'd just gone to a super fancy, decked out rooftop restaurant last weekend, and decide to take Dodger for a walk.

“Every time I walk through the park, I feel like all the kids should not be this cute,” Sebastian comments. “Like how is that even fair? I looked like shit when I was a kid.”

“That's completely untrue, and you know it,” Chris counters. “You were cute then, and you're even cuter now.” He kisses his cheek.

Sebastian elbows him away. “Yeah, says the one who was a cute kid!”

“Nah, I feel like I looked like a mouse. Y’know, like overbite, small eyes, the works.”

“You were adorable and it sucks,” Sebastian huffs. “Because look who's still freaking adorable.”

“Don't forget sexy,” Chris winks.

“Shh, not in front of the kids,” Sebastian scolds, swinging their interlaced hands between them.

Chris laughs, then clears his throat. “So, hey, I'm making plans to go to Massachusetts over the holidays…”

“Aw, sounds fun,” Sebastian grins. “I can definitely watch Dodger while you're gone. Be warned, I’m going to train him to love me more than you.”

“Actually, I was wondering if you wanted to come with me. Dodger can come too,” Chris smiles.

Sebastian is full on beaming. “Really?”

“Only if you're willing to meet my family, of course.”

“Yes! Yes, oh my god,” Sebastian exclaims, pulling Chris in for a kiss. “I would love to.”

“I'm glad you said that, ‘cause I already booked two tickets so…”

They laugh together, before Chris starts a discussion about what a child between the two of them would look like.

—

Sebastian can hear the door unlocking, Chris’s humming and his little ‘hey, buddy!’ to Dodger signaling his return.

“Shit,” He breathes, hand still down his pants. He forgot he was coming home early.

“Babe? You back h–oh! Oh…fuck, are you touching yourself?” Chris asks with dark eyes, shutting the bedroom door behind him.

“If I was,” Sebastian says lowly, grasp still tight around his dick. “What would you do about it?”

Chris moves toward the bed and tugs Sebastian's pants all the way off his legs. Then, using his left hand, he takes both of his hands and pins them over his head.

He leans over him and whispers hotly in his ear, “I'd touch you myself,” and he circles his thumb around his tip, teasing him. Sebastian whines, keening for more, and then Chris grabs him in a rough motion, fist tight.

“Couldn't help yourself, huh?” Chris smirks down at him. He starts jerking Sebastian faster, making him pant.

“I was…thinkin’ about you,” Sebastian lets out.

Chris hums at that. “Yeah? ‘Bout what?”

“Mmm, your hands…everywhere. Your fuckin’ mouth,” He groans. “Letting you pin me down and fuck me.”

Chris leans up and whispers, right over his lips, “Maybe I can make those fantasies come to life…you want that?”

Sebastian whimpers, “Yes, please.”

Chris kisses him hard then, and it lasts for just a moment before he bites his lower lip gently and breaks away from Sebastian's mouth. He kisses down the side of his jaw, before sucking at his neck.

When Sebastian tries to move his hands to grip Chris’s hair, Chris grips his wrists even tighter with his left hand, looking up at him slyly as he leaves another mark on his skin.

“What's it gonna take for you to let me go?” Sebastian asks, desperate to touch his boyfriend.

Chris moves his head away from his neck. “Suck me off and I'll decide if I should.” Seb nods, so he reaches down to unzip his fly and hastily shoves his pants and briefs down his legs.

“I'm impressed you can do that with one hand,” Sebastian muses.

“Takes practice,” Chris replies, chucking his clothes across the room. He shuffles forward until he's perched on Sebastian's chest, hard-on inches away from his mouth. “Show me whatcha got.”

Sebastian nearly snorts because of course Chris would say that before a blowjob, but wraps his lips around his cock and starts slowly taking him in his mouth a little at a time.

He sucks hard when he's got most of it in his mouth, watching Chris throw his head back and moan. He's kind of in an awkward position, but Sebastian still jerkily bobs his head up and down Chris because he knows he likes it.

“God, Seb, you look so hot,” Chris pants. “Hands over your head and mouth gagged full of my cock. Such a good boy.”

Sebastian moans around him at the praise, and Chris cries out at the feeling. He can tell he's getting close to the edge, so Sebastian starts slowly pulling back, swiping his tongue at the precome leaking from his tip before he pulls off completely.

Chris releases his grip on his wrists, and Sebastian moans with relief despite the ache surging through his arms. He leans up and kisses Chris, unbuttoning his work shirt as he does.

“Someone's eager,” Chris murmurs with amusement against his mouth, helping him take off his shirt entirely.

“I need you inside me,” Sebastian begs, fingers tracing his chiseled chest.

Chris reaches over and grabs a condom and bottle of lube, then opens it and spreads the cool substance on three of his fingers.

He moves so that he’s in between Sebastian's spread legs, then waits for him to reposition himself like he usually does. This time, Seb’s feet are placed at the small of Chris’s back and their thighs are touching.

“Ready, babe?” Chris asks.

“Yes, please hurry,” Sebastian whines.

Chris does his best to oblige, even though he really enjoys prepping Sebastian. He really loves to take care of him.

After he gets his first finger inside, Chris gives him a few seconds to adjust before sliding in the second. Sebastian tosses his head back against the pillows at the feeling of being filled. He gives Chris a nod, and then all three are inside of him and his body feels like it's on fire.

“Oh god, yes,” Sebastian cries out, grasping at the sheets.

“Is that good?” Chris asks, starting to move his hand back and forth gently.

“Mhm,” Sebastian approves. “Fuck, I want you now.”

“You sure?”

Sebastian rolls his eyes. “You're sweet, babe, but I know what I want. And that's you. Inside me. _Now_.”

“Alright, alright,” Chris chuckles at his boyfriend's sass, pulling his fingers out slowly. He slides on the condom before lining himself up against Sebastian.

“Please,” Sebastian whines again, trying to grind his ass against the head of his dick.

Then Chris surprises him by pushing in half of his length all at once, making Sebastian gasp. He clenches tight around him.

“Oh, fuck yeah,” Chris murmurs, voice coated with lust. “So fuckin’ tight,” He says as he slowly pushes in the rest.

Sebastian wraps his arms behind Chris’s head and sucks his tongue into his mouth once Chris is entirely inside of him. They make out like that for a while, until Sebastian commands him to move before his dick gets soft.

Chris rocks his hips gently at first, before slowly dragging his cock all the way out and thrusting back into Sebastian hard.

“Oh my god!” He cries out, cheeks flushed. Chris smirks and does it again, finding great satisfaction in Sebastian's loud moaning.

Then Chris grabs his hips, and really starts fucking into him, his cock brushing against Chris’s stomach. The light friction feels good in contrast with the deep, full contact he’s receiving just below. Sebastian reaches down to try and wrap his hand around himself, but Chris slaps it away.

“You’ve already,” Chris grunts, “touched yourself enough.” Sebastian whimpers at this and puts his hands on his boyfriend's back instead.

But then Chris wraps his own hand around Seb’s cock and starts to match the strokes with his thrusts.

“Shit, Chris!” Sebastian exclaims in total ecstasy.

Chris can tell he’s getting close with the way his hole keeps fluttering tightly around him. “Come for me, baby.”

After two deep thrusts, Sebastian comes into Chris’s fist with a quiet gasp, ass clenching around Chris so tight he can't move inside him anymore. Once he relaxes, though, Chris immediately starts quickly pounding into him.

“Mmm, fuck!” He moans out, thrusts getting sloppier. Sebastian musters up enough energy to clench around him a little again, just to push him to the edge.

Hips stuttering, Chris comes inside him with a “Basha…!” before pressing his forehead against his and kissing him softly. He pulls out slowly and ties up the condom before tossing it, then collapses next to Sebastian.

“I love you,” Sebastian murmurs, pressing his lips against Chris’s shoulder.

He smiles at his boy before wrapping his arms around him and kissing his temple. “I love you, too.”

They asleep curled up together like that, content and full of love for each other.

—

Sebastian is startled awake by his phone going off. He moves away from Chris’s grasp, to which Chris lets out sleepy, unhappy groans, and sees that his agent is calling.

“Hello?” Chris gives him a confused look, and Sebastian shrugs. “Yes. Oh, really? They never…oh my god! Oh my god, are you sure? Yes! Okay, see you tomorrow then. Thank you!”

“What just happened?” Chris asks, sitting up in bed now.

“I got a role!” Sebastian exclaims excitedly. “In an actual movie, Chris! I got it!!”

Chris’s mouth falls open and he scoops Sebastian into his arms. “Oh my god! Congratulations, Seb!”

“I can't believe this,” Sebastian says. “They never gave me a callback or anything and I thought…just oh my god, this is insane!”

“I am so fucking proud of you, baby, you deserve this,” Chris grins, planting a kiss on his lips. “We are so going out to celebrate tonight.”

“Can you reserve at that great Italian place?” Sebastian asks.

“Anything you want, movie star,” Chris teases. “God, I am so proud of you.”

Sebastian giggles, teeming with joy. “I'm proud of me, too. My mom is so not gonna believe this.”

“Oh shit,” Chris says all of a sudden. “Is your mom gonna be okay with me taking you back home next month? I really don't wanna be on her bad side before we've even met.”

“I already told her and she's totally cool with it,” Sebastian says, fighting back the urge to smile at Chris’s fearful expression. “She's really happy things are going well between us, actually. And she wants to meet you.”

Chris’s eyes light up and he perks up like a puppy. “She does?”

Sebastian laughs. “Yeah, she does. Someone gave her the impression that you are a very good, caring boyfriend who's more than a little handsome.”

“Well, someone was too generous with his description,” Chris elbows him in the side. “But I’ll take it.”

“Now all you have to do is convince her it's the truth,” Sebastian shoots him a wide grin. Chris tackles him into the mattress and he lets out loud giggles as his boyfriend tickles his sides.

“You are such a little shit,” Chris growls.

“Chris, stop!” Sebastian gasps out. “Lemme go!”

He stops tickling Sebastian and settles for wrapping his arms tightly around him. “Now why would I do that?”

“I'll blow you.”

“You already did, try harder.”

“Because you, Chris Evans, are a very sexy man that I am very much in love with and if you loved me too, you would let me go.”

Chris sighs and releases him. “Fine, but only to prove that I really do love you.”

Sebastian smiles and kisses his cheek. “Mulțumesc,” He says in a singsongy voice.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Chris rolls his eyes, before messing with random strands of Sebastian's hair. “You do know how much I love you though, right?” He asks softly, seriously.

Sebastian looks over at him and his chest ignites at the way those worried blue eyes look at him. He feels so lucky that things worked out in their favor, that he gets to be here and love this man.

“Yeah, I know. I could never forget,” Sebastian smiles.

And he never did.

**Author's Note:**

> if you made it to the end, thank you for reading!!
> 
> talk to me abt evanstan:  
> twitter: @infinitywarmth  
> tumblr: thatfangirlingfreak


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